The Llamas offer us this list of things that supposedly apply to a majority of Americans. I've struck out those things that do not apply to me:

Eats peanut butter at least once a week. -- Never, if possible.

Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky. -- If it must be eaten, it should at least have some crunch to it.

Can name all Three Stooges. -- Three plus!

Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart. -- In good traffic, according to Mapquest, I could make it in 16 minutes.

Eats at McDonald’s at least once a year. -- I prefer to eat my grease at Sonic, but with children and travel, we wind up at a McDonald's at least once every year.

Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day. -- I take baths when time allows, but when I take a shower it's probably either much shorter or much longer depending upon who is watching the children.

Never sings in the shower.

Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium.

Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000.

Has fired a gun. -- I think I should learn to shoot one, but I haven't gotten over my girly weeniness. I'm all in favor of other people learning how to use them and already told my son that when he's a couple of years older his uncle (former Marine and now a policeman) can take him out and teach him gun safety and shooting.

Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall -- 5'8"

Weighs 135 to 205 pounds -- I'll never tell. Though actually, I'm not really sure of the exact measurement. I don't have a scale anymore. It succumbed to years of jumping children. Sigh. Back in college I used to tip the scales at 119 lbs.

Is between the ages of 18 and 53.

Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option. -- I don't think that taking advantage of people who can't do math is very nice.

Grew up within 50 miles of current home. -- Approximately 2000 miles from the place I was born and 500 miles from the place my parents have lived for the last seventeen years.