I have had to convince myself that there are no right answers to this scenario of life... I would give anything to stay with squink, but I love working... if I could take squink to work with me... I would be in heaven... but, I wonder if there are not just many possible ways to do this...
BTW - as an anthropologist, I would say it takes a village, I always say that the more people that love my son, the better off he and others will be... if I protect him from the world outside, and don't let others in to see how precious his life is... what would be the point.

And as a side note... I consider you a part of his village, just as I would consider myself a part of the one for your children...
=D

Isabel and Craig are on the road to divorce and Ryland will become a heroin addict on the streets of Amsterdam.

Just reading about this woman makes me nervous. Wait until Tom Wolfe gets hold of her.

It's telling that when she is told that closeness is important that she hires someone else to do closeness for her.

There are different villages, Blair. I think my kids need church, family, etc. They don't need me to hire a night nurse, a nanny, a babysitter, a grandparent and an intern to take care of them. That's the village they don't need.

Isabel is not interested in being a mom, but it's way cool to be part of the "mom project".

If you are an aggressive go-getter in this day, having a child is part of the experience.

That is not an insult to Blair. I know women who are mothers and professionals. They do and have done well.

Of course, I was not meaning to slight all working moms. One can obviously work, use a day care or nanny and still be mom.

I feel the same way when I read about interesting things someof my former classmates are doing. I'm going to have to go and read the article you mention later though...

I had this odd "panic" after child #1. It was the first time I had been "unemployed" since I was 15. I felt odd, out of sorts, confused about my new purpose.

I am the best Mom I know how to be, and am enjoying it now...I wish I would not have wasted all of that time feeling guilty and odd about being at home.

I felt like my working girlfriends were judging me, they thought I was judging them. Weird. It does not matter what other people think at the end of the day...we all know that.

I don't know know how my working friends work, and they don't know how I can stay at home all day. We have all agreed to respect and honor each others choice.

The other thing I failed to mention in the beginning part of my babble was that all the working friends who are out doing something are single or at least childless. I'm not even comparing myself to people doing what I'm doing and then working a job on top of it. Silly of me...

Yeah. I feel better now! I don't have the finances to hire a childcare machine, but I prefer my life to that poor woman's! Grace, by the way, is a wonderful thing!

Oh my, take to long from checking back in to comments sections and you miss a whole bunch.
First, I was not saying anything about what you said about villages, I was just saying (albeit badly) that villages are important. I should have gone on to say that the ones that work on altruism are the best as then you have people who are truly invested in the child, where as, some folks have to purchase their village and while it is because of the lifestyle they choose, it has benefits... but not the same benefits as the altruistic village. blah, blah, blah.... I prefer an altruistic village any day!

I think the working vs at home mom conundrum is fascinating. I do not begrudge my friends choices and admit openly that I am jealous of that time they get... however, I know myself enough to know that while I could do it, I think I make a much better mother as a working one, with one caveat... my priority is still my child... which, in the long run is the same thing as any other mother that I admire...