With my first pregnancy, back when I was young and supposedly had supple skin, I got stretch marks everywhere. In all my following pregnancies, my skin faired much better. I might have had one more mark develop, but that is it. I hadn't seen anything new this time around and I'm less swollen than ever before.

The other day I got out of the shower, looked at my belly and was really surprised to see a new, shiny white stretch mark glowing there, but going oddly the opposite direction from all its predecessors. I was very disappointed. Then I realized it could be scrubbed off. It was actually left over paint from my bad habit of wiping my hands all over my work shirt instead of using a rag to wipe up. So no stretch marks, just fuzzy pregnancy brain and too much paint not on things I'm actually painting.

If only that were the only kind of stretch mark I'd ever gotten.